March 15, 2013

They're spelled "you're" and "loser"

I can't even fucking use YouTube anymore.  It's full of stupidity and bullying - even worse than Twitter!!

WHY CAN'T ANYONE SPELL?!!?  Seriously!  I have seen more botched spelling and misused homophones than an Indonesian bootleg being translated into German by Babelfish!! And you know what the worse part is??  ANYONE WHO CAN SPELL IS PERSECUTED!

You have to be at least 13 to have a YouTube account.  The average American child begins kindergarten at age 6.  This would put a new user, assuming they weren't held back, in about the 7th grade.  Why then, for the love of all that is holy, CAN THEY NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "YOUR" AND "YOU'RE"?!??!??  The seventh grade is fucking middle school! Two grades away from high school!  YOU HAVE BEEN LEARNING ENGLISH GRAMMAR AND SPELLING RULES FOR SEVEN YEARS!  YOU NEED TO DEMONSTRATE MASTERY OF THESE IN ORDER TO MOVE TO THE NEXT GRADE LEVEL!

And you'll notice I specifically said American!  Yeah, that's because all of these people who think they're so fucking cool and witty specifically tell you where they're from! I've seen people from other countries whose English grammar is better than adults who've lived here and spoke it their entire lives!!  Some of them even go on to claim they've been to a "colage"!  Ooh, back up, we've got a smarty pants here!  Too bad their pants are on backwards and they've forgotten to zip up and they've got both legs in one pant leg!  And they have the AUDACITY to lecture other people who don't agree that they're the greatest thing since sliced bread!  "like who carse wat u say i dont need too right liek dis is skool thums up if u agre  i think your a looser lern too internet dood"

*excuse me a second*

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHw#t$#^#$!^$@%!@#%$@#^#%&#%&!!!!! *explodes*

Sorry about that.  Do you realize that one sentence took me longer to smack out than this entire paragraph?  Seriously, I had to consciously forget what I had learned in order to type it!  How can you go to school and just COMPLETELY FORGET WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU THERE!  This is like driving a car for 7 years, then getting on a bike and falling on your ass because you don't ride bikes now that you've got a car!

What is the fucking deal with embracing stupidity and bashing intelligence?  Why is everyone who expects you to be a fucking adult and communicate effectively labeled a "Nazi" and a "fag"??  I've actually seen intelligent comments replied to with "retard".  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT "RETARD" MEANS? HOW IS SOMEONE WITH PROPER SUBJECT/VERB AGREEMENT RETARDED?

Oh, and what's even worse is the time and effort it takes to be stupid.  "teh" for "the"?  Really?  Exactly how much time are you saving typing that?  Both "words" take the same amount of letters - 3.  And "liek"?  Look at your keyboard.  L, I, and K are all situated close to one another.  Now where's E?  On the other fucking side!  You have to stop, hunt, peck, and then return to the right side to butcher "like", rather than hit the three keys with adjacent fingers and then switch.  It's even more ridiculous nowadays because all browsers have a spellchecker built in.  ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TAKE NOTE OF THE FUCKING SQUIGGLY RED LINES!  Right now, mine is pointing out "teh" and "liek".  You fucking right-click it, and it  offers you "the" and "like".

Don't give me this "oh u can unnerstan it!" garbage, either.  The Internet is all about anonymity.  We can't see if you're wearing skinny jeans and your hair is perfectly coiffed.  We don't care how much money you make or if you're happily married and well-loved.  All we can see is the text that you post.  Do you WANT people to think you're a lazy, stupid moron who can't even string two words together?  How do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you can't even spell?  I personally would never hire anyone who says "peeple goes to store and take game i capitalize Random things Or I Capitalize Everything. In A Sentence.  Fragment. "  Is this how you speak?

Typos are something else altogether.  A typo occurs when someone who ordinarily knows how to spell hits the keys in the wrong order.  But THIS PERSON CORRECTS THEIR MISTAKE!  This is why you always double-check something before hitting "post" "comment" "update" or whatever button exposes your shit to the world. Generally, you make an amendment to the first post with *correction, or "oops sorry I meant *correction*".  I make typos.  Lots of intelligent people make typos.  BUT THEY CORRECT THEMSELVES AND DON'T CLAIM TO JUSTIFY THEIR TYPOS BY SAYING THAT EVERYONE HATES SMART PEOPLE!

You know what?  Maybe I'm taking this the wrong way.  Maybe this really IS hard.  Well, *I* figured it out...I must be a genius!  YEAH!  I'm so awesome that I can make English my bitch. Watch this:  They're going there to give back their items.  ZOMGWTFBBQ HOW DID I DO THAT?  All the words are different, but they sound the same! WITCHCRAFT!!!!!11!1! WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY?

 I'm just sick of the stupidity of a country that loves to claim it's better than all the rest, with a borrowed and bastardized language, with SUPPOSED high school graduates, some claiming they went to COLLEGE, for Christ's fucking sake, who not only refuse to acknowledge the existence of homophones, but persecute people who do!

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