I searched for a while 'till I found a profile question I could adequately make fun of.
God help us, my mother has a cell phone. This is the woman who previously used "download" to refer to any action done on the Internet, until she found out about Google. "Can you download those pictures to me?" She can't figure out how to use scrollbars, and she thought the ads on Facebook were "my webpage". How much damage can she do with a cell? In the interest of never fucking finding out ever, I'll assign her a ringtone of screeching noises.