July 20, 2011

The healing power of childish antics

Woke up today - barely! - feeling like crap and it only got worse from then on.  Allergies attacked, and I stubbed my damn toe.  To make matters worse, a damn fly WOULD NOT STOP buzzing around.  Then something minor happened.

I got the first issue of my forgotten free magazine subscription in the mail.  I open it up to find a big-ass, smarmy, smirking picture of Andie "I think I'm worth it and I will RAM IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT" MacDowell.


I ripped it out and laid it on the bar as a fly trap.  And, like flies to shit, I saw the maggoty menace hovering over it.  Armed with bug spray, I drenched the sucker...oh wait, the fly got away.  But Ms. Loreal Groundhog Day got a faceful of Raid.  The best part is the caption -which they tucked under her chin - "Smooth is the new young".  Said by a wet, wrinkly smeared headshot!

And you know what?  I suddenly feel better.  Yeah, I know it's immature. But since I'm unable to take out all my frustrations on their actual sources, my only recourse was 3rd grade voodoo.  It gave me something to do.  It gave me a chuckle.  And now the fly knows who he's dealing with.  Bring it on, Vincent.

*icon by me!

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